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Brief reflections on my doctor’s office

January 21, 2009

A little over a year ago now, I found out I was pregnant and went on a search to find a physician I liked and trusted enough to handle my prenatal care.  After a few interviews, I found a really wonderful family physician and a really wonderful family practice.  They’ve taken very good care of me, even when that care involved sending us elsewhere.

But something about this new year has me constantly looking back, remembering when.  I used to love going into that office.  Usually N would come with me, and we’d bemusedly read the baby and parenting magazines, and then go back to the travel magazines.  When heading through the hallway for our appointments, we’d look at the colorful photo collages of new parents with new babies and wonder what our photo would look like.  We loved to hear Teddy’s heartbeat, that sound like galloping horses.

We were anxious about being new parents, but we were happily anxious, expectant, hopeful.  N joked with the doctors and nurses and we both asked lots of questions.  We wanted to be good at this parenting stuff.

Today I went in for a brief blood draw and was probably there for less than ten minutes, but there they were sitting next to me in the waiting room, the ghosts of who we used to be.  I miss them so much.

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3 comments

  1. yes, oh yes.


  2. Stabs you in the heart, doesn’t it? I hate seeing the new mums walk in to my doctor’s office with their baby carriers. Obviously bringing baby in for a check up. That was supposed to be me. I also saw a young couple, much like us, walk in to one of the huge chain baby shops, much like we were doing a few months back. Picking cots, carseats, prams, linen blah blah blah.
    Simon came to every single appointment with me, too. He even took days off work to make sure he could be there. And if he couldn’t get the day off, I’d schedule the appoitment during his lunch break. I could tell our midwives loved us. You could tell they thought we were going to make “great parents”. All so unfair this happens to people like us.


  3. It all changed so much, didn’t it?

    I know that feeling, so so well.



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