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Pity party, table for one

April 14, 2009

Feel free and welcome to ignore this post – I just needed to whine a bit (or whinge a bit, if you prefer).

  • My baby is dead
  • My thyroid is tired
  • My eyes are not only amazingly myopic but are also itchy from crying
  • I miss Teddy
  • My cat wouldn’t let me sleep past 5:40 this morning; she scratched at the bed until I got up
  • When I tried to go back to sleep she scratched on the bed again
  • I’ve been cutting back on coffee and today I can’t seem to wake up
  • I miss Teddy
  • My home is leaky
  • I’m killing myself to pay off my debts at a time when big banks are using bailout money for raises and bonuses
  • I don’t fit into my cute spring clothes
  • I miss Teddy
  • My workplace is tense because of impending budget cuts
  • N’s job is in danger because of impending budget cuts
  • I didn’t have time to take a shower this morning
  • I miss Teddy
  • I came home from work yesterday (my late shift) and realized I was expected to cook
  • We’re out of dish soap, so I have a sink full of dirty dishes at home
  • I miss Teddy
  • I tried to fax a request for Teddy’s medical records to the hospital in Portland and their fax number has been busy all day
  • I have to go back and try to fax the request again
  • I miss Teddy
  • I’m tired of all of the paperwork that comes with my dead baby.  If your baby dies, someone else should take care of that for you. For free.
  • Today, I just feel so lost in what’s become my life
  • I miss Teddy
  • I hate looking for new places to live and it’s likely we won’t find anything with a yard for my birdfeeders and rose bushes
  • I had to skip yoga today to set up for an employees’ luncheon
  • I miss Teddy
  • I had to clean up after the luncheon, too
  • I have more cleaning up to do in a couple of hours
  • I miss Teddy
  • Because of the employee’s luncheon, I’ve lost most of my workday
  • I miss Teddy
  • I’m still tired from my long day yesterday
  • I miss Teddy
  • I cried all over a coworker today and realized that this is now what I consider a healthy and welcome conversation
  • I miss Teddy
  • The weather is gray
  • I miss Teddy
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8 comments

  1. (((hugs)))

    you might need to book a bigger table… there’s plenty of ‘wining’ to go around…


  2. Indeed, I want a seat at that table too. Hugs and love.


  3. i right there with you. i should make my pity party list too. i bet it felt good.


  4. Count me in for the pity party. I think I need to do a list like this myself. I hope it feels good to get all this off your chest.


  5. *hugs* can I join your pity party? I brought some wine..er whine


  6. Oh Erica…. this breaks my heart to read.
    Big big ((hugs)) to you.
    Holding you in my heart, sweet. This seems to have been a very rough patch for you.


  7. Must feel better to just get that all off your chest….. so sorry that you are feeling this way. Join the club!

    Strength to you… xo


  8. Whine anytime, Erica. There is room for ALL your feelings. Love to you.



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