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Stomach burbles

April 24, 2009

Today my stomach is burbling away like mad, which is puzzling.  I can’t blame any unusual meal choices or new activities.  I wonder if the doctor who performed my c-section was one of those horrible prankster types, who thought it would be funny to rearrange my innards so that they could achieve this effect:

This sort of thing never happened to me before I was pregnant.  Teddy was worth every bit of change, every ounce of flab and every hormone coursing through my body, but I can’t help but wish that some of the after effects of pregnancy were easier to live with, especially considering what I have to live without.

If I were in control of the universe, childbirth would come with much better after effects in general: increased flexibility, immediate conformity to ideal weight, the ability to be clearheaded and energetic on almost no sleep, the ability to sleep whenever one wanted or needed to, clear skin, shiny hair, increased agility, and the ability to down innumerable pints of Ben and Jerry’s (or Haagen Daas, if you prefer) without any negative side effects whatsoever.

If I ever run for Supreme Ruler of the World, this will be my first stump speech.

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4 comments

  1. Post partum without the baby really sucks.


  2. My stomach does that too. My husband gets a grand kick out of it.

    Can I join your Ben and Jerry’s utopia?


  3. Thanks for making me laugh today. Although this is not funny in a ha ha way. Such a cruel joke to get lumped with all of this, without our babies. I’m sure I wouldn’t have cared quite as much if she was here. I’d back you for Supreme Ruler of the World.


  4. It *is* funny – that’s one of the strange things about it. I’ve been alternating laughing about it and pulling my hair out over it all day.

    And should I ever grasp control of the world, I’ll make sure to share the Ben & Jerry’s 🙂



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