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Green light, and wind

May 19, 2009

Spring

Yesterday, storm clouds swelled, the skies darkened, and the light – this pre-storm, rain-full, brooding light – bounced off the new leaves and the spring grass until the whole world looked green and eerily beautiful.

A caught-in-crystal moment of quiet and peace before the winds whipped themselves into a frenzy and the rain started to fall. For the rest of my life, will I associate moments like this, when the world seems to stop and hold its breath, with my too-short time holding Teddy?

I ran outside, attempted to capture the green-tinted light, but mostly failed. I caught this lilac, though. One of the things I will miss about this place is the back yard surrounded with lilacs.

I usually think of Spring as a gentle, growing time, but it is also violent. There are rainstorms and wind. The wind howled like a lonely thing last night; it kept waking me up from restless dreams. I kept worrying about the tender little plants growing in pots on my back step.

I spend so much time longing for peace lately, perhaps because I’m also longing for something that would make peace very hard to find for, say, nine months or so.

I feel like yesterday, with its stillness and its storm, was trying to tell me something. I haven’t unraveled it all yet, but I was listening so I think I’ll figure it out eventually.

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3 comments

  1. without the contrast of turbulence, we could not know peace.

    you can always plant new lilacs! and peonies, and spice viburnum, and…..


  2. Some day I will have my own garden, my own “bit of earth,” as one of my favorite literary heroines would say, and when I do, I am SOOO hitting you up for gardening wisdom, Ya Chun! Fair warning:)


  3. “I feel like yesterday, with its stillness and its storm, was trying to tell me something. I haven’t unraveled it all yet, but I was listening so I think I’ll figure it out eventually.”

    I loved this. I feel like I live in some sort of in between space most of the time, trying to make sense of the stillness & the storms. I hope you’ll post when you do figure it out!



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