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The new mundane

January 19, 2010

So, here are some glimpses of my life on bed rest:

I am coming to find some reality tv shows soothing, particularly The Dog Whisperer. Something about the phrase “calm, assertive energy,” perhaps.

I’ve become positively blasé about carrying 24 hours’ worth of pee into the hospital every week, and am no longer embarrassed that I need to use two of the big orange jugs, not just one.

I’m getting used to the L&D rooms (which I visit twice a week) and haven’t had any repeats of that first NST’s skyrocketing blood pressures and PTSD-like reactions to smells, sounds, and staff.

I’m getting used to being alternately stir-crazy and shut down about having to leave work before I was ready, to monitoring my blood pressure and blood sugars multiple times a day, and to letting N do all the cooking and cleaning while I feel mostly useless.

Some days it is all too easy to shut off the troublesome, worrying parts of my brain. Some days I feel like a cow-witted incubator. And some days I fill up with panic until it bubbles over into anger and frantic-ness. I’m not sure which is worse, but I’m madly grateful for the ability to throw myself into novels.

Dot continues to look really good – very wiggly and reactive, and she’s now 36 weeks old, which is encouraging and hopeful. We think we’ll be naming her after a Shakespearean heroine and a nymph who knew her own mind.

I just hope she’ll have years and years to make the name her own.

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8 comments

  1. Glad things have been going well, I’ve been thinking about you while waiting for an update. I am hoping she comes into this world healthy and wonderful. I can’t wait for that for you.


  2. Goodness me, 36 weeks already. That has gone fast for me, but I know (all too well) it would have gone painfully slooooooow for you.

    You’re so close, Erica. Dot is so close. I’m sending so much love to you all as you near the finish line.

    xo


  3. Ahh, I love the Dog Whisperer and his calm assertive energy.

    Will be keeping my guesses as to Dot’s true name under my hat! xo


  4. ‘What light is light if [….] be not seen?’

    Have I got it right? If so then I LOVE that name.

    I was going out of my mind right about now during my pregnancy with Moe. Lots of love to you Erica xx


  5. sending you lots of love erica
    glad you are finding some books and t.v to help pass the time and keep you calm.
    and wow 36 weeks!!
    xoxo


  6. Thinking of you as these last days and weeks drag out


  7. bedrest is hard, but i found it was also time to get rid of the rest of the distractions that normal life imposes and take stock of myself, on the cusp of that heartrending second time/first time motherhood leap.

    i hope it is providing you with some of the same chance just to catch up with yourself…fears and hopes and all.

    and name nerd me is now drooling to know the name, and trying to figure out if the heroine and nymph are meant to be one figure, or fn & mn?

    lots of love. and courage.


  8. Holding you and Dot in my thoughts.



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