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Thank you, 2010

January 1, 2011

Thank you, 2010.  You weren’t easy, but you were kind to me.

I did not enjoy the panic or the bedrest, and the cumulative loss of sleep is, if I even try to do the math, staggering.  And my grandmother may have been ready, but that doesn’t mean we were ready to lose her.  And you left my brother and his wife longing for a bfp and anxious that they won’t ever get one, which was pretty brutal of you.  And the anxiety about whether or not N and I would keep our jobs?  That was fun.  Thanks.

But  you were the year of Dot, of our healthy, emphatically here Dot, who decided yesterday that walking would be easier if she could just pick up a little more momentum and is now bouncing from wall to wall and off the furniture like a small, wobbly, pinball.  We love her so much, our pinball.  For every giggle, every cry, every midnight dance of her first 11 months – thank you, 2010.  Thank you.

It seems a year of almost incomprehensible riches, looking back on it.  So many moments with my daughter.  I wish 2008 had been this full of Teddy, that I’d been able to get to know him, to hear his cry, his laugh, to look into his eyes and see that he knew me.  I spent many days of 2010 longing for that alternate universe where I was the frazzled mother of two.  I am grateful for what I have, grateful for you, 2010, but for the record, I still want them both.  I always will.

Now, 2011.  2010 was a good year for me, for my little family, but it was a terrifying, heart-breaking year for so many other families.  Not everyone who suffered loss in the past few years was granted the healing boost of a Dot.  And other moms and dads are living through their own versions of what 2008 was like for us.  These people need a break, a little rest and healing and a lot of good news.  You have your work cut out for you, so hop to it.

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2 comments

  1. well said. 2010 was tough, and good. IT was a transitional year for me, I think.

    Let’s see what 2011 brings. I hope all good things to you and yours, and the others like us out there!


  2. Yep, very well said. We love our little pinball as well, though he’s quite steady on those old legs of his now. Still amazed every day that he’s here. That Dot’s here. And so very, very grateful.
    xo



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